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"Love and death"
by: Dark Elven

      Well this should be a kind of article to this issue, so it is named like that. Also I should represent my meaning of love and death here, that’s the purpose of this issue. So here it is… I can’t be sure what love is and I am not, though somehow I can say that everyone understands it his own way. And this way is usually different and unknown to anyone else. Some say it’s like when another person kisses (etc.) just you and nobody else, some that it is "to give anything to the one loved", some to feel that someone cares for you, etc., etc., etc. So this way I can’t really say that I have ever felt love, course I’ve never felt like said before. Though I did felt like being well when I saw some person… Though is that love: it always gets away in a day, two, week, monce, even longer, but it does disappear (never felt that for longer then a week). It shouldn’t be that way in my opinion of love. First you feel it and think that it is it, but then it disappears and you can’t do anything with it, you wonder how so, but the answer is unclear. So can this be called love? Even if it lasts for really long – I mean for instance a pair getting divorced after 10 years of marriage – can you say they are in love? Some of you would say "they ware", though can love just be forgotten. It cans. But is it love after this? If you think so, it’s ok, many do so, but I don’t. Somehow I feel that love should be something that lasts forever, or for the lifetime actually, but then we’re getting to another question: is there love after death? But not just yet: first I’d like to clear up what we need love for…
      One of my friends said, love ware a mix of friendship and sex. I can’t agree to this. One can exist without another. And even if it ware so, why then would we need another word for this feeling? Any feelings can be mixed, but we don’t call all the mixes their own names, do we? Somehow love should be something else, but deep inside – what is it? Can you ask this yourself? No clear answer, right? Something like "I don’t want to be lonely" – but you can’t always be with someone, you would just get on his nerves, or something like "I want to share my thoughts with someone who understand me" – but noone does, your thoughts are fully clear to you only, they only can be similar from outside. A little example: I met another anime fan and we got kind of friends because of this, I thought he liked anime, because of the same thing I did – feelings – but it appeared to be different – he just liked seeing some girls transforming… What else can I say: I don’t know why for sure, it should be different to everyone, and after all love wouldn’t ask you if you want anything or not.
      Oh, another thing: I don’t believe in that physical theory of love, presented by Freud and some other ‘scientist’. A total bullshit, to my mind, you can’t say it to be that simple. We are humans, not animals (any longer) after all I hope.
      Now to the last – death. Yeah it is pretty clear ahead. Noone knows when it is, but probably everybody fells it. And though it’s scary to believe – it awaits you every moment. But if we would think much of it, we would just lost our minds. Very soon actually. Somehow it just got a part of life, as if we ware eternal… Sorry, but we aren’t, though I do hope we are after all. Then another question appears - what is after death. Some say nothing and some, like Christianity, explain that pretty clear. Somehow even to clear to my mind… You can’t just feel pleasure all the time, while being in ‘paradise’ and buirn in ‘hell’, both are not what I’m in for, though for someone who is really in for any religion it may sound good and clear. Though something must be after death, our lives are wasted if not, or are they not after all. Do we truly live for next generation? Hopefully not. Something you can be sure in – you’ll be remembered, even if you don’t think you have any friends, you actually don’t have to, someone will remember you after all, and that alone can make me feel better. Though there hopefully are some more things all of us can be good for… And the last (not least) – love after death… Love should be eternal, if it does exist after all, course if it doesn’t – what are tolking about? Though is there a place for love after death? Somehow I don’t imagine a place for love in someonce memory, but maybe you’ll be remembered as a love pair – like "Romeo and Juliet", though will you need this? This question is totally unclear to me, course I don’t know what I should wait for after this barrier, and I guess I’m not alone in this.
       So love and death are parts of our lives, and probably can’t be cut out, but somehow I feel life to be much better if they could’ve been taken away. But, on the other hand, life would be pointless even more without them, so we should be happy to have these points. Should we?